NEARLY IN JAIL

Couple of sea days, formal do, Mum got the bling out. Went out for a stroll in Catania in Sicily. Visited the highlights, Benedictine monastery, now a university, St Francis Sq, where we had a few beers & of course the elephants bum. Not sure what it's doing there, rumour has it there used to be a herd of dwarf elephants roaming the foothills of Etna. Not sure that's right but did glimpse Warwick Davis with a turban. We had to go through security to re-board. The rucksack went through & next minute I was surrounded by security people and given the full treatment. Unbeknown to me I had mum's 8 inch hair scissors. When I got out & told her what had happened, she said - that's good I need to cut my fringe.

Not all bad tho, got an email for a free birthday dinner at the pub.

CADIZ 2

After the horses, we toured the sherry bodega that made Tio Pepe, Croft and brandy. Nice relaxed visit that ended with 3 glasses of sherry, Pepe, Croft & nectar. Followed that up with a walk around town in the squares, cathedral, Admiral's house, Roman ruin followed by a couple of beers in a bar. Boy are we chilled now! Sitting on balcony with Yorkshire tea followed by G&T & Famous Grouse.

ONE FOR CAT & THE GIRLS

We went to the Jerez Spanish riding school today. They specialise in dressage, winning silver in Athens and part of the Spanish team at London Olympics. You get one-to-one tuition with a professional rider and have the use of Spanish Andalusian pure breds or Arabian crosses. All stallions. 4 year course, tuition fees 2000 Euro per year & you have to find accommodation. Two probs before Cat & girls apply, they only take on about 6 pupils per year, and you need to speak Spanish.  Get the night school language course booked.

SICK BAGS ON THE BANNISTERS

It's Friday, must be the Bay of Biscay & it's force 7. Misty, galloping white horses & the ship is rocking 'n rolling & rattling away. Nice comfortable cabin, oldest ship in P&O, ditto passengers. Food good, curry in the Sindhi. Entertainment good, 5 murders by the lecturer, pop opera singers, too rough to dance.

Sunday now beautiful, Linda's doing a step, ballroom fitness combo designed by strictly dancer. Still too rough for me to dance, so practising scotch drinking on the balcony, spilt some so obviously need more practice. Too much food, as usual & too busy. Need more chill time. Black tie tonight,  meet captain Sarah. Tomorrow, Cadiz.

AT LAST, WERE OFF

to the Med that is. So far, some good, some bad; tweaked back Wednesday -bad - loads of ice and hot baths -  good. SW trains & central line on strike - bad. Bought insurance of coach ticket - good. 'cos of bad back & mum's mega case, booked cab to Waterloo- good. Breakfast at Carluccios - good. Train on time & empty - good. Wasted coach ticket - bad. Mum knocked tea all over table - bad. Needed cash, half mile walk to ATM - bad. Got on boat early, nice lunch - good. Early in cabin - good. No luggage - bad.

Loads of WhatsApp in from Cyprus, Des's daughter getting married in mountains this afternoon, reception on yacht.

DREAMING SPIRES

Been using some of my free hotel nights - still winning Captain O! - now in Oxford. Took a guided walking tour in colleges, Bodleian and other historic spots in city centre. Saw where Harry Potter learnt to dance in the Bodleian Library, that's the selfie pic with the bossed ceiling. Also visited the spot where Queen Mary burned the 3 martyrs, Latimer, Ridley & Cranmer. Seems she wanted torture & built the fires as small & slow burning as possible. Apparently, they had some good stake final quotes. Finished off in pub for dinner that happened to be a Morse & Lewis location.

WHO'S THAT GIVING THE EVIL EYE

Been out on day river boat trip down to Shotley at the mouth of the Orwell & Stour. Fish & chips in the pub then a wander round the local museum. Any offers what's going on with the eyes and the doorman next to her?